99 Problems (Climate version)

If you do not know about it, I feel bad for you, son
We got 99 problems but the climate's the one

I was sat alone on the couch at home
Bored out my dome, so I grab my phone
Clicked a video on a random post
An 'saw Greta Thunberg say the planet's toast
She said she had hope when teachers told her
To save the world just take your notes, but
She noticed those they taught before
Are same the experts that we now ignore
So she, skipped school and knocked parliament door
And said 'I raise the alarm on behalf of the poor'
Man, I felt ashamed of the fact
I'd known about it for years and done basically jack
One day my sons go 'be like,' Dad,
We understand the intelligence you claim to have
But, you did nuthin '- man, are you dumb?
We got 99 problems but the climate is the one - hit me

99 problems but the climates the one
If you do not know about it, I feel bad for you, son
We got 99 problems but the climate's the one
It's 1990 and the first report
From climate science said the earth had warmed
They gave two options: it was natural or,
More likely mankind were the cause.
Now, I ain't tryin 'a highlight to place the blame
But government response to the claim was lame
Instead of pulling over to the side of the road
They're like, 'Lean back, bruh. We do not believe that, yo
If the world's warming, it's probably the sun
Climates always change, how's this different, huh? '
'Well - the ice cap's shrunk,
nights warm faster
There's less oxygen
And coral's full of carbon '
'Yeah, well where's the consensus?
39,000 scientists reject it '
'Idiat! How come you're on TV, son?
Clearly the media do not care you're completely dumb.
Between you and those screaming 'conspiracy'
We'll waste ages, debating if it's a thing
And here we are, 30 years later
Almost at the point where it's too late to save us
I ain't psychic, but I predict
Our children's kids are go 'hate us for this,
We'll see what you say when the questions come
We got 99 problems and climates the one - hit me


99 problems but the climates the one
If you do not know about it, I feel bad for you, son
We got 99 problems but the climate's the one
99 problems but the climates the one
If you do not know about it, I feel bad for you, son
We got 99 problems but the climate's the one


[4 bar break]

Once upon a time not too long ago
Tobacco was meant to be good for folks
Not good in the sense of being actually healthy
Just good for the sellers: every cent made them wealthy
They censored truth, went and muddied the waters
Said smoking was good and then paid to report it
Yeah, you know the lie and now that's over, right?
But today it's the same with climate deniers!
In the age of information, ignorance is a choice
The death of expertise means we live in a void
Where masters are laughed at by ordinary people
Who stupidly think all opinions are equal
But science ain't opinion. It's fact my friend
You can dally but reality is happenin '
XRs tryin 'to break it down for them
3 degrees effects more than Africans!
We need to stop traffic, kid
Mass extinction ain't saccharine
Cash is sweet but it will not bypass floods
We got 99 problems but the climates the one - hit me

99 problems but the climates the one
If you do not know about it, I feel bad for you, son
We got 99 problems but the climate's the one

Yeah

We need to stand up and fight the climate crisis
The time for waiting
The time for negotiating is over

Have

We got 99 problems and the climate's the one!